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| Well, my first med school class has come to a close, and the start of a new class. I won't lie, I worked my ass off, and got...
...mediocrity.
Like, I'll admit I was a bitch in high school - I got good grades and complained, I got angry and upset for such little things, etc etc. I never thought I'd be in the sitting end of it, but I was in a sense during college, and even moreso now. Now I KNOW not to complain or bitch about grades. I'm literally sitting sail-high in the midst of mediocrity, and while I'm PRETTY sure I'll get a residency afterwards, I'm still a little scared. I mean, c'mon, this is my future, it's what I want to do, I think I have a right to freak out a bit.
Am I upset? Kinda, sorta, maybe. Not THAT upset. I passed...by an okay margin. But now people have been telling me that they were so close to honoring this course, or whatnot, and I feel like shit. Like, really feel like shit. It was awful.
Sooo, normally I'd go for poetry, right? Well, I realize it's so hard for me to write. I haven't written anything in forever just for me. I just lost it, and I was really afraid it was going to come to this. After Mr. Flynn fucked up and left, I was beat as hell. Okay, I'll admit he deserved getting fired and should have seen it coming. But seriously, how many teachers are going to tell you, "I'm gonna see you in the New Yorker one day", whether or not they were kidding? I think the fact that he's now completely gone from my life has put a huge damper in my appreciation for even the likes of the mighty Ted Kooser or Arthur Sze.
Well, I've taken up a new hobby of performing magic. I can do some basic spongeball routines and some cool vanishes, some cool coin sleights. Card tricks are hard for me, but I'm pretty good at 3 card monte and am working on the clean ending. I also have a Ben Salinas' cups and balls routine which I'm working on, but it's hard! There's so little time to practice...
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| And the third week of med school begins with a tumultuous and disheartening first two weeks.
I can't believe I actually miss college. In college, between studying, what I wanted most was just do martial arts or eat with friends. Here in med school, all I really want is sleep. Yeah, sleep.
It's odd, I don't think I could work harder/smarter/more focused on my own account, yet at the same time as a result of the REALLY bad grades I've been getting, I feels like I'm slipping fast or near the bottom. I mean, I wasn't asking to be the top, nor did I ask that in college. Average's good - around top 50%. But even THAT seems like it's really hard to do now.
Well, I'm not gonna off and cry about it, but I won't lie - this has been the roughest two weeks of my life. I've always had rough opening two weeks, but nothing quite like this. I'm sure when (really, right now I feel like "if") I start residency, those first two weeks will probably be even worse. Hell, month(s).
The worst feeling is that I feel like everyone isn't having the same problem as I am. Or doing as badly. Or, maybe I'm just really vocal about it in hopes someone will answer the call and tell me, "Despite your failing grade, you'll end up as a doctor."
Alas! And off to the cadaver lab I go -_-;;.
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| Well, I've officially started medical school. Okay, so it's still orientation. The things I'm hearing aren't making me any less anxious! But, as my sensei once said, "What do they call the student who graduates last in his med school class? Doctor!" And, being that his son also went to NJMS (graduated valedictorian zomg?), it was probably the most reassuring thing ever.
But that was said last year. Forward to the now. I'm moved into my apartment, and I hear police sirens outside, give or take every 15 minutes.
My new love is PHOENIX WRIGHT! The visual novels (and the manga, and I also own all the soundtracks/orchestra albums) are just so well written, with expertly drafted characters. Some awesome stuff to say the least.
I think the thing I hate most right now is having pay my own electric bill, and having to cook for myself all the time...
Oh well!
Also, everybody watch K-On! Adorable stuff.
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| http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/05/14/morehouse.justice/index.html
Look, I'm all about forgiveness, and I think it is divine and wonderful thing...but seriously? No jailtime? He gets to live his life normally and is hit with only a small fine? The victim lived, thank God, but I mean...does anyone else think the consequences for the gunman should've been a little more dire?
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| Kevin is a TCNJ alum. Is he going to miss it? Not even in your dreams.
Will he miss the people, though? Of course he will. But, he can easily spot them online and stuff.
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